Lessons needing learning - I'm getting there.

Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from the inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do ourselves.
-Mitch Albom

I get so angry and I nurse my anger. Lately though, I've been able to let things go. I feel so much better. I'm no longer getting poisoned. It's wonderful.

I guess I'm lucky to have them.

I hate my teeth.

Oh, they're perfectly good,  nice and straight only slightly discolored (thanks soda and coffee). As long as I stay away from certain shades of lip gloss you wouldn't even notice.

What I hate are my gaps. It's like my whole mouth is full of teeth that are a size or two too small so I have all these gaps in my top teeth. I begged my parents for braces when I was younger but my mom had the same gaps growing up and her wisdom teeth coming in had pushed everything together. She assured me that would happen for me too, so why spend the money?

Well, I'm 34 and my "wissies" are still nice and snug, buried in my gums.

I should have paid closer attention to some of the family pictures we have. I have the same smile as my Great-great grandpa Arlie. His never closed up. My first-cousin has the same teeth. But she got braces and they looked great! I remember being so jealous at the time. But, with the confidence of youth she failed to wear her retainer and now you'd never know she once had perfect teeth. It makes me so mad! I wouldn't have squandered the money and time of braces!

I've been thinking about getting braces now, but being poor and in debt, it seems foolish to tack on more debt for something so superficial? I guess I could do what my grandma did in the 50's and just have them all ripped out and go for dentures. Yeah, maybe not.

I really, really hate my teeth.

For the IndieInk Writing Challenge this week, Kurt challenged me with "Teeth." and I challenged stacie with "That first sip.

iPhone Obsessions

A list of things that are currently zapping all the electricity from my iPhone.

• Flick Homerun - I'm completely consumed by flicking a tiny baseball across my little screen.
• Draw Something - I know you know what I'm talking about. My username: tobielee12 if you want to laugh at my lack of skillz.
• Where's My Water - you need to check this out. It''s all about getting water to an alligator living in a sewer. Kind of a puzzle, brain teaser thing.
• Sims Free Play - almost as good as the PC version. Well as good as you can expect for a hand-held device.

As you can tell, I kind of like to play games. With the gloomy weather keeping me from getting started on my gardening at least I've got something to do!

Let it go.

I had a confrontation with a family member this week. It was heated, absurd, and a longtime coming. I'd been backing down and letting things go as "not important enough" to make a big deal over. Then something was brought up that I had thought we'd worked out months ago and I knew that it had never been worked out to begin with. And I got pissed.

I don't really do angry. At least not directed at anyone but myself. I'm a pro at being mad at myself. Like I could make millions if it were a professional sport. But back to the point, I got mad at this person, furious in about 2 seconds. Heart pounding, body shaking, tidal waves of rage mixed with overwhelming sadness that our relationship would probably never recover from.

Here it is four days later and the anger is long gone. In it's place is a sad peace. Peace because I know I didn't do anything wrong. OK, there may still be a tiny bit of frustrated hurt because she threw down the "I'm a mother" card as if that trumped any argument I might make.

For now, I'm moving on. It's been hard to not pick up the phone and attempt a reconciliation, I'm not good at letting animosity fester if I can do anything about it. The fact is, if the other person refuses to believe me when I am speaking truthfully there's not much else that can be done. I'm getting to be OK with that.

Big, BIG weekend plans.

Or not.

I mean, my weekend just happens to be jam-packed, but none of the plans I've made will require me to actually leave the house.

You see, I am  a messy person. I've never been concerned with things like dust bunnies under the bed of dishes piled up in the sink. It goes WAY back. Friends would come over for sleepovers and we'd end up cleaning my room.

I was pretty good for the two years I shared a dorm room but all bets were off after that. Even now, I have three whole bedrooms to stash my stuff but things get piled all over the place until I feel like I'm on the verge of being featured on Hoarders.

So yes, this weekend will be "The Weekend of Cleaning!"

I vow to wash every dirty dish, fold or hang up every article of clean laundry that is currently residing in a pile on the guestroom bed. Not even the garage will be safe from the swirling tornado of cleaning that will be me!

Somewhere amidst all that cleaning I also have to find the time to write a grant proposal (my first client, yay!) and come up with a lesson plan and example for a company I am doing work for. Both are due Monday.

Who needs sleep?

Happy Good Friday everyone! Take a moment to thank God for sending his son to be crucified for our sins.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syExGszydHc&feature=related